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Thorfinn the Nicest Viking: Dragon Care Top Tips

Posted on 12/04/2019 in Fun Stuff

Vikings far and wide are travelling to Scotland’s Shetland Islands for the great Fire Festival where they’ll compete to become the ultimate champion by creating dazzling fire displays. Chief Harald the Skull-Splitter is determined that his village will be victorious, but it seems as if Thorfinn has ruined their chances, until he remembers a story about a once-legendary dragon, now in hiding…

Can Thorfinn and his rag-tag crew persuade the dragon to help them? He might if he follows these dragon care tips from an old book Oswald gave him…

  • Dragons are NOT pets, but they do like a good scratch behind the ears and an occasional game of fetch. Give tummy tickles at your own peril.
  • It’s important to feed your dragon a varied, balanced diet. If not, you might find that YOU become part of said varied, balanced diet. Avoid any SFEs (Stupid Feeding Errors) by wearing full body armour at feeding time.
  • Brushing a dragon’s teeth requires the utmost care. DO NOT attempt to floss your dragon’s fangs, unless you want to end up like Ulrick the Armless and Todrig the Crispy-Headed.
  • There are certain foods you must NEVER feed a dragon. Spaghetti, gingerbread and broccoli give dragons explosive wind. Noxious dragon bottom burps have been known to knock people unconscious for several weeks.
  • Dragons DO NOT like having their caves cleaned. If you must clean, use a VERY long-handled brush and find something to distract your dragon with (a snack‑sized herd of oxen is ideal). Better still, wait until they’ve nipped out to burn the local village to the ground before spring-cleaning.
  • When ill or unhappy, dragons will often retreat to a cave in a remote spot. To cure a dragon’s cold, give black oil, measured by the bucket, for as long as symptoms persist.

DISCLAIMER: Owners follow the above advice at their own risk. The Publisher accepts no liability for any dragon-related damage or injuries of any kind (dragon fart-induced comas included).


About Thorfinn the Nicest Viking

Prepare yourself for the wrath of the Norsemen! That is, if you don’t mind and it’s not too inconvenient…

Everyone knows Vikings are ruthless barbarians whose idea of a good time involves pillaging, plundering and feasting. But Thorfinn is no ordinary Viking! He is always polite and happily offers to wash the dirty dishes. Too bad his dad is Harald the Skull-Splitter, Village Chief and the roughest and toughest Viking of them all.

 

 

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