David Macphail’s Top Ten (Almost Entirely True) Viking Facts

The Vikings. Big, hairy blokes who sailed around Europe, terrifying people with their giant beards and even gianter farts… But they weren’t all blokes. There was Velda. And she was a girl. A tiny one at that!

Join Velda in her latest adventure as she sets sail on a wild voyage of daring, discovery and er, unicorn doo-doo, all while proving she’s the awesomest Viking around.

And brush up on your Viking knowledge with David MacPhail‘s top ten (almost entirely true) Viking facts!

1. Viking longships could carry up to 60 warriors. That’s like filling a whole double-decker bus with Vikings (and giving them axes as well – yikes!)
2. Vikings fed their sick and wounded onion soup. Because when you feel terrible, what you really need is bad breath too!
3. Longships had no toilet. So if you needed a pee, you’d better hope you weren’t sitting in the middle.
4. Vikings loved games such as Hnefetafl and Knattleikr. Presumably the winner was anyone who could pronounce those words. (Follow the links to find out more on Wikipedia!)
5. Some dead Viking chiefs were cremated in their longships along with all their loot. That’s one way of saying ‘No one else is getting any of my stuff!’
6. Viking slaves were sometimes named after their jobs. In any Viking village, you might meet Floor-Scrubber or Barn-Sweeper. One to avoid was definitely Cess-pit-Cleaner.
7. Vikings sometimes used wool for wiping their bottoms. Don’t worry, they probably cut it off the sheep first.
8. Vikings thought rainbows were a bridge that linked the Earth to the realm of their Gods. That’s cooler than just ‘sunlight reflecting off water droplets’.
9. Vikings could start fires with tree fungus mixed in with human wee. Yes. Really. Try not to think about it.
10. The Vikings loved skiing. They even had a God of skiing, called Ullr. Imagine praying to Ullr for snow days.
11. In winter, Vikings brought all their animals into their longhouses. The animals stayed warm, and the Vikings enjoyed some delightful pongs.
12. Vikings liked to stay clean. They used combs, ear cleaners and tweezers, all made out of bone antlers, so yes, even fierce warriors hated messy hair.
13. Lots of our weekdays are named after Viking Gods. Thursday is named after Thor, (Thor’s Day). Wednesday is Odin’s Day, Friday is named after Freyja and Tuesday after Tyr.

Velda the Awesomest Viking

Some people say girls can’t be proper Vikings. Velda does NOT agree!